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What you are is a miracle.  Your experience is sacred and holy.  Your senses and your body are wild and alive, filled with intelligence and creativity.  Even your confusion is filled with wisdom.  Even your darkness is made of particles of light.  Matt Licata

Tidying Up In The House Of Belonging

2/3/2016

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I have been tracking the popularity and success of the current bestseller, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up:  The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing, by Marie Kondo.
 
Marie Kondo’s words resonate with a deep familiarity based on my work with the healing modality knows as Family Constellations.  Central to each modality is the understanding of the importance of belonging and being in one’s rightful place.
 
Marie Kondo’s insights and techniques for tidying up, involving finding what belongs in her clients’ homes and where, based on the clients’ right relationship with their material possessions. Conversely, by organizing possessions in this manner, I sense that her clients find their own way of belonging in relationship to their possessions.  
 
Marie Kondo has her clients go through all of their belongings by category.  Through a process of coming into contact with one’s own center, the client asks, “Does this spark joy?  Items that spark joy are kept.  After being acknowledged for the service they have provided, the rest are released.   Each kept object in the process of tidying up has a place of belonging in one’s home and is recognized for its value. 
 
In the healing modality, Family Constellations, the founder, Bert Hellinger speaks of the underlying Orders of Love in a family system.  At the deepest energetic level, everyone in a family belongs. Disruption and imbalances in families come when someone is excluded or when someone energetically takes the place of someone else in the family.  Exclusion in a family system might show up as the forgotten relative, the one with the mental illness, or the gambling problem, or the infant that died in birth.   When a family member is excluded a disruption in the flow of love occurs.  Another family member, often a member of a future generation, will take on the imbalance of a previous generation and carry the burden of the unreconciled family relationships.   Everyone belongs.
 
Entanglements in the Family Constellations modality happen when someone steps into a role that does not belong to them.  For instance, a son may take the place of an absent father.  A second born child may step into the role of the first born, in the case of a miscarriage, abortion or adoption.  When family members step into a different role than their rightful place, discordance arises.    Every family member has a specific place in the lineup.
 
In the work of Family Constellations, representatives are set up to reveal what wants to reconcile in order for the client to deepen in the support of an appropriately ordered family.  Relationships that are out of balance reconcile based on the truth of belonging and the recognition of what is.   The clutter of entanglements and stories drop away.  Underneath one finds a sense of order and ease.  
 
Both The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up:  The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing and Family Constellations orient toward a sense of belonging in the physical, emotional and spiritual realms. Both engage a person’s embodied knowing and an internal way of sorting out right relationship.   Both modalities support the clearing of space and an opening to inspiration, light and love.
 
I took Marie Kondo’s inspiration to heart.  I have “tidied up” my home.  I have found a place of belonging for each of my possessions.  I have released the ones that no longer serve, that no longer work for me in current time.  I sat (briefly!) with each object I let go of and found gratitude for the purpose it served.  I cleared space in my home and in my heart as I let go.  I take time to notice the joy that my current possessions bring me.   I have bought a few new things to support my current lifestyle.   I find that, similarly to participating in a Family Constellation experience, that I have a peace that comes as a result experiencing foundational order. 
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